When a person grows up with a dysfunctional emotional bond there are scars that no one understands. Everything has different meanings even as small as a hand on the back that one day long ago led to a place where only evil took over. Everything and everyone is to be doubted when you come from a place of such emotional brokenness that appears to not have a place to heal. I had no problem doubting all humans for they always proved the case over and over. But, the problem began on that dreary day when my doubts turned toward my God and towards myself. Reconstruction of my mind and what feelings really mean was enacted the day I met the only Truth there is. I'm still learning and I've learned that, first and foremost, that my God is not dysfunctional. So what he gives only has one true meaning and that is Love. I used to wonder how someone who says they love me would hurt me so deeply but God is so good he now has me questioning why I deserve such good even though I doubt. I rest in the truthful whispers of Jesus that say that "even in your transgressions I still love you". Don't doubt the most true love there is and if someone has told you that you deserve anything less grab on to this Truth and resist the lie. Be strong and stay courageous and keep seeking the Peace that surpasses all understanding. I am grateful that in all this pain I have a loving God that gives me what I could not do on my own. I am striving to be so filled with all that is true that darkness will dissappear. Be blessed and know that you are loved. And that is the truth.
